Rain Rain Go Away...

On second thought, we need you...
It poured down rain again last night. UGH.
Today has been exciting... Not really. Work is so boring but at least it's moving along quickly. I walked to Jack N the Box today for lunch. It was so hot outside! But I hopefully worked off some of the calories from my Oreo Cookie shake and sirloin burger with grilled onions and swiss...
I also watched the Crazies last night with hubby and CiCi. It was so much fun. I love scary movies that make me jump and scream out loud. Hubby gets such a kick out of it!
Cici made it to the dentist but we missed Bruiser's doc appt. She seems to be getting better (the cough) though so maybe for the best. I had to pay 68.00 for Cici's cleaning though. Fun...

Tuesday!

I went to bed at about 10 PM last night. I feel well rested! Haven't been to bed that early in a while. When I got off work yesterday, it was pouring down rain. I got soaked! And I think the rain sucked out all my energy.
My Blackberry phone is malfunctioning. It won't let me access any of my pictures. I am so ready for a new phone. But I know it's not in the budget.
It's new release day. Ok. My addiction stands. I want to save money but I love movies. Good news is I can put one away for Xmas for the kids so I am shopping early. Is that a good way to reason myself into this purchase?
I only work a half day today because of CiCi's appointment with the orthodontist. Also we decided to take Bruiser to the doctor for her cough. So I will have a busy afternoon.
I am in a happy mood today. Thank goodness! I am feeling very blessed and loved.

Monday Morning!

I ended up having a great weekend! We had pizza and movie night on Saturday. Rented a movie and hubby, C, L and I watched after the little ones went to sleep. That was nice.
Hubby and I went rolling. We were going to shoot pool and couldn't find the place he wanted to go to so we ended up @ Cindie's. A store for adults. I had fun laughing with him.
Sunday, I woke up before hubby and made my southwestern scrambled eggs and bacon and toasted English muffins. It felt good to cook for the family. After some chores, the twins went down for a nap and I took the girls with me to the base to shop. Didn't find anything good. Got some groceries and training pants for the twins! Gotta try to get them out of diapers.
After that, went home and had dinner with the family. Then I took all the kids to the local park. It was hot but lots of shaded trees. They had fun.
I watched some comedians on cable with hubby. And True Blood. Nice weekend...
Hubby told me he is interested in working with a company (outside the military) in Afghanistan for a year but can make about $200K. Nice but a year away? Again? Ugh. I am hoping he finds a job he's happy with and finishes school. Behind him 120%!

I feel sooo much better!

Last night, hubby surprised me. He took C and L to the movies to see Clash of the Titans while I was at work. Glad he got them out of the house. I have already seen that movie while hubby was deployed. We were going to check out a new place to shoot pool but couldn't find it. Hubby thought he had driven by it before. I was honestly tired but at the same time so glad to just be out with him, I didn't care. We ended up driving around and eventually passed by a store called Cindie's. They have adult toys and lingerie. We laughed so hard at the products and some of the customers. We didn't buy anything... Just being adventurous I guess. Then we went home. A perfect evening. Came home and watched some TV together and fell asleep in each other's arms. Nice.
This AM, I took the kids to the Y to play while I worked out. C and L swam while the little ones were in the Kid Zone area. Got to work out for about half an hour before the kid zone closed. That was nice. I feel so much better after being able to get out and burn off some energy.
I am about half way done with that book I am reading. It's picking up finally. I don't know what the rest of the weekend has in store. I am just going to try to relax. I am hoping that little spell is over... Maybe I was having emotional issues because of my cycle. Maybe I really did need to just get out of the house. I don't know... But I am so happy right now...

It's Friday... Should I be excited?

Feels like just another day. I have a case of the blues...
Yesterday, I took off 4 hours from work unpaid. I told hubby in advance that I was taking off so we could take advantage of some free time while the kids were in daycare. I wanted him to go to the movies with C and L and I. I offered to go shoot pool with him if he didn't want to go to the movies. ANYTHING to get out of the house. He had no suggestions of things to do and he picked that day to grill so he couldn't be too far away from the grill. Dinner was delicious by the way.
Needless to say, I ended up crying, mopping the kitchen floor and folding clothes before going to get the kids. I did, however, go on a bike ride with Elliebear around the neighborhood for about 20 minutes. It was hot but the breeze and shade from the trees were nice. I started to get tired. We have lots of hills and inclines so I feel like I got a good workout. I worked up a sweat. That was a nice part of the afternoon. I could've taken the girls somewhere but I was so down in the dumps, I just changed my mind.
I do want to point out that hubby is not being mean about anything. He just wants to hang out at home... I guess I get that since he hasn't been at home for so long. He's very sweet and loving and is constantly making me laugh. He takes very good care of us. I am happy with him. Just having my own usual personal issues... Been there before he came along so...
The kids definitely make me smile. They are characters. Pinky just randomly bursts out in dance. The way they all interact and play together genuinely warms my heart. And now all of them have coughs and runny noses. I hate it. They are getting meds and breathing treatments. I hope it clears over the weekend or I will have to take them to the doctor.
Another thing I forgot to mention. The girls had been telling me they saw my stepson on a commercial for Hawaiian Falls Water Park and I was like yeah, probably looks like him or something. Didn't really think about it too much. Then I saw the commercial... Sure enough, it was him. How exciting... The feeling in the pit of my stomach I always get when I think about hubby's ex wife flared up. What is wrong with me? I was so pissed! All I could think about was her getting free time to take her kid to a waterpark while I was stuck at home AND getting so much child support AND just being a beast. Oh well. What can I say, I'm nuts I guess.
I am going to try to make it through this work day. Hopefully no tears. Hubby just kind of left me alone last night. I guess that was for the best. I went to bed @ 9:30 PM. Guess I needed the sleep. I was tired. I felt a little better this AM. But I still feel like I need a happy pill.

Update Time...

Well, my cycle cycled around. Came yesterday morning. Whew! That was almost scary! Yesterday, though it was hump day, seemed to last forever! And I was so depressed because all the jeans I bought before I went to GP are now too small. I am so disappointed in myself. I know I haven't been as busy as I was before hubby came home so I am not burning as many calories. I haven't been working out. I am pigging out. Hubby is making me breakfast sandwiches every day, which I appreciate. I just feel guilty the whole time I am eating them, I know that's crazy, but it's true. I am just going to have to do better. I am so uncomfortable. And it's not even a thing where I am uncomfortable about the way I look. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's nice to feel good because you look good. I am referring to actual physical comfort. My pants cut into my tummy. It's too hot to wear sweats. My lower back hurts. And I just feel like a physical and mental blob.
A friend of mine that used to work with me sent me an email and asked me why I don't apply for a federal job. She says that with my hubby being military, I would be given additional "points" in consideration. I need to brush up on my clerical abilities. I took a class on Word, excel, PP, etc a couple years ago but I never get to practice any of it, so I don't remember most of it. I still want to pursue nursing though. It's my dream.
Hubby and I finally finished the LOST season last night. And though it had a really unique and interesting idea for a show, it seemed like the writers toward the end didn't even know where they were going with it and just threw a bunch of ideas together and ended the show. I had good times watching it. There were some good laughs and a few tears, lots of excitement and anticipation for the next show but now I am just glad its over...
Bruiser has a bad cough and runny nose. Hate it when the kids are sick. Hubby is still on "active duty" til the 27th. So the extra pay is almost ending. I have decided I am not going to allow it to stress me. We have survived on one income off and on for a long time. It'll be ok.
Everyone else is doing well. Cici finished summer school. She's officially an 8th grader! Good job!
I have been able to read a bit more. I have started a new book series by Heather Graham. I just finished (finally) the third book in the series I was reading by Nora Roberts. I like reading. I just haven't had time to really enjoy it over the last year.
Well, I only work half a day today! Which gets me out of the mandatory OT we have had every day for the past few weeks. I have been so mentally tired! Ugh! And stupid consumers with bad attitudes don't help. Don't know what hubby and I will do but I can't wait to spend some time away from here and with him!

Mary, Mary! Where art thou?

Well, its Tuesday. I am hoping that Mary shows her ugly face soon. She was due Sunday! I am probably just stressed or something. I had problems with the heaviness but I was pretty much on time. Am I worried for nothing? We shall see!
I had the worst day yesterday. I was so tired and the customers were so mean. Not all but enough to make an impact. At least I had a good night with the family.
On Friday night, hubby and I finally started watching LOST. I had DVRd the whole season while he was deployed so we could watch it together. I am so glad I waited for him! And I can't wait for 24 to come out (the final season) on dvd so we can watch it together. We have watched at least 2 episodes a night! Only 4 left til the finale! So exciting!
It was father's day on Sunday. Cici didn't want to call their dad. She's holding a grudge about him not calling or sending a card for her bday. I asked Elliebear if she wanted to call him and she said she did, but never did... Not my fault! I reminded and asked!
Hubby cooked all weekend, before I even got the chance to putter around in the kitchen. I felt bad about him cooking on Father's Day, but he enjoys cooking so I guess he was ok.
I got a little restless this weekend. I took all the kids walking and to play at the park on Saturday. It was so hot! I sometimes feel like I'm going to go nuts if I get cooped up in the house. Even if I have to take the kids somewhere to run around.
Overall, it was a great weekend. One of my favorite buddies got fired yesterday. That's sad...

It's Thursday!

I have almost made it to the end of another week. Why are we rushing time? Doesn't that just make you older? Funny how we want to push time ahead but we don't want to get any older.


Speaking of time... I was watching the Daily Show with hubby last night and though we were cracking up- Jon Stewart is so funny- it was kind of scary. He was showing clips from our last 8 presidents... back to the time of my birth... saying how we needed to and planned on breaking free from dependence on foreign energy sources and oil. Our current CIC is spitting out the same stuff as the previous ones and nobody has been successful in fixing the problem!


Today is day 59 of the oil spill in the gulf. The beautiful gulf that I was so blessed to enjoy before it happened.

She's Not Driving My Car!

Today started off with me waking up and getting everyone ready for day care/summer school and totally wanting to go back to sleep. I am so tired. My legs hurt. I feel like I could sleep for days. One nice thing was that I was laying on the bed and Bubba climbed up, got on top of my chest, gave me a big kiss and laid there. I told him I could have laid like that all day. He's such a sweetheart!
I didn't stay up especially late. Goofed around on You Tube with C and L. I like those times. We don't do it often enough. I have so many kids and with hubby being home now, my time is spread so thin.
Anyway, I get CiCi dropped off at summer school and as soon as she's out of the car, I get pulled over by the Pantego PD for the inspection sticker being out. Great. Way to start the day. What kept me in good spirits was that while the cop was at my window, Bruiser was in the back yelling, "Go, Momma! Gooooo!" Hilarious! So Hubby says when I told him, "she's not driving my car!" I love it.
Long work day yesterday and today. OT is nice but the days are so long and I had so many PC issues today it was so very frustrating! But we've got to move on, right?
Almost done with my workday. He's hoping for a relaxing evening.

The Neverending Monday...

I am as of right now enjoying the evening. Hubby is watching TV in the garage... His little home away from home while at home...
I worked from 8-6:15 today. I am so glad I technically had a 4 day weekend. I don't think I would have been able to handle it otherwise. It was a very long day.
Came home to a very interesting dinner hubby had prepared. Ate with the family. He gave them a bath, I put them to bed about an hour ago but for a while Pinky, Princess and Bruiser all came and sat on the bed with me while I listened to Pandora music and played on facebook and YouTube.
I really wanted to read this paperback book I started but there was too much going on. But home time so far has been very relaxing for the most part.
We have tons of mandatory overtime for the next 2 weeks. Ugh. I am so not excited. The calls are back to back. I must just remember my paycheck.
I felt pretty good today mentally. No cases of the bluesies. That's good. I was reading over some of my old poetry and writing today. Where did I find the creative energy?
On Saturday, hubby and I were supposed to go see the A-Team. I was pretty excited about it. I don't think hubby felt the same sense of urgency to go to the movies, which is my obsession. We didn't make it to the show. So instead we went to shoot pool. Haven't done that in a very long time. I must say I was disappointed about the movie at first, then I realized how selfish I was. I always drag hubby off to the movies. He picked pool and I ended up having a really good time. I even won one of our 3 games! I can't wait to go again.
On Sunday, I dropped C and L off at a theatre where the tickets are only 1.25! They show movies that have just recently left the theatre but not quite on DVD yet. They saw Furry Vengeance. They had nothing but good things to say about it, so I can't wait for it to come out on video. It's going under the tree.
I have started to put some things away for Christmas and back to school. I can't believe my little Princess will be going to Kindergarten! I can't believe how time has just flown by.
I went to McDonald's with the little ones while the girls were at the movies. Oh, that was fun! Me alone with 4 toddlers! But they did a really good job. Ate ice cream sundaes and played on the play land equipment for a while.
I also stopped at the TMobile store near us. Found out my contract is not over til June of next year, but I am able to upgrade my phone. A new one coming out today called the My Touch Slide, supposed to be the best one they offer as far as Android technology and camera are concerned. I am getting tired of the Blackberry. Ready for an upgrade... However, just another expense. Priorities!
The finals are getting sticky. Boston has been pulling out wins. We may make it to a game 7. Woo Hoo! Well, gotta prepare for a 9 hour day tomorrow. Ugh.
At least I have this wonderful family to come home to.

Ok...

Well, let me just try to play a little bit of catch up...

I took off work today. Took an FMLA day. I have a chronic condition on file with my eyes and they were so bothering me today. On top of that, I feared I had a bladder infection or UTI. All the symptoms were there over the last few days. So I went to the after hours clinic at my doc's last night. Confirmed a slight one. Bladder control issues are no fun when you are glued to a phone. Plus I was really sleepy. I was up to get the kids ready for daycare and Cici ready for summer school... another story... and then I went back to sleep until 11 AM. The medicine they prescribed for me makes me feel dizzy and lightheaded. So I basically have felt like crap all day but I did get to chill out with the hubby and Elliebear most of the day.

Cici got her report card in the mail today. She failed Tx History, of all subjects, and Math. I kind of struggled with math when I was younger too, so I can't be mad at her for that one. However, I was a History Major when I went to SMU. So I can't relate to the Tx History one. But she only has to go to summer school til June 30 and if they finish all their assignments before then, they will be released sooner. Glad I changed our vacation plans to August. I am hoping she does well and now that we have another adult in the house with hubby home, I am hoping the next school year is easier for her. She had a lot of responsibility helping me out in his absence. And I wasn't able to be as diligent in enforcing extra study time as I would have liked.

Hubby has filed for unemployment. He has so many things on his plate to take care of. I saw what his ex-wife is getting in child support and it totally pissed me off. Another story... It's a lot of money for one kid. As compared to what I get for Cici and Elliebear, it's a lot. It's about twice what I get for 2 kids. And I am not fond of her and don't see what the attraction ever really was- for my hubby toward her or for me and my ex... Not that I am reflecting but... Another story...

Cici was upset that Elliebear got a birthday card from their dad with money in it and she didn't get anything in the mail. Elliebear got a phone call first thing in the morning. She was spending the night at a friend's when he called and she returned his call later, only to get voicemail. Cici, no word from him. I don't know what that's about. I can only assume it's because Elliebear is his favorite. Not going to worry about it. But glad Cici is old enough to understand why I am not with him and what kind of person he is.

Hubby and I went to see 2 movies this past weekend. Get Him to the Greek, which I absolutely adored! And Splice, which wasn't so good. Next on the list, Price of Persia and the A-Team. I can't wait! There are some good ones coming out this summer. He is gone right now to watch the Lakers and the Celtics play game 4 of the finals. LA leads 2-1. He is a die-hard Lakers fan and I really can't stand them... Well, just Kobe Bryant. But since he is part of their organization, I really think I'll pass. No denying there's talent there. So I guess I will root for them so my hubby will be happy. At least til the Mavericks start up again next year.

I really think I want to go back to my shrink. It's great with hubby being home. I feel less stressed as far as my list of things to do is concerned. However, his last paycheck is coming up. He is gently searching for a job but I am not rushing him because he has been so busy getting the house back in order. Fixing leaky faucets, getting us a new fridge and furniture, totally revamping the yard, getting his old clunker running so we can try to sell it or something, fixing the kids swing set, making dinner and doing all the chores each day, fixing small electrical problems, cleaning out the garage and the air conditioner vents. And I know I haven't even mentioned everything. However, I still feel overwhelmed. I don't know what my problem is. A major part of it is that my job is so depressing. I don't bring it home with me... I can totally let one customer roll on by and go to the next... but the job is so depressing. My department for the most part. I am so tired of hearing about every one's financial problems and how they are angry with the company for whatever reason as though I personally caused these issues in their lives. I am expected to sell to this group of people who call in to disconnect and remove things they already can't pay for. It's ridiculous. I think I need my Cymbalta back to help me keep my scales in balance... I have no doubts that everything else will fall into place...

Hubby's cousin who kept the kids while we were in Gulf Port moved into a new house and needs a fridge. We are donating our old one. That was pretty nice of hubby. The 9th was the one year anniversary of when her son died from a malignant brain tumor/complications. I still don't know the specifics of that, but it's pretty sad.

I have a friend on fb that I met at my cousin's husband's going away party last year (he is in the Army and deployed in Iraq.) She has been posting some really negative things lately. I am so worried about her. We aren't that close. Right after I met her, she moved to Arkansas to live with her hubby's parent's while he was deployed. So I have really only talked to her on the phone, fb or email. Anyway, she is having extreme marital problems. Her hubby is mean to her and tells her he wants a divorce but she doesn't know why he is being this way. She has already attempted to talk to his command and Military One Source and that was no help. She reached out to me about her plight and she had pretty much tried all the suggestions I gave her. She has been put on antidepressants and her fb posts are almost suicidal. She asked me to get hubby's opinion and call her back and his news was not very good. He feels that her hubby's is acting guilty about something. His accusations of her cheating may be because he is doing it himself. I didn't want to deliver that news so I never called her back to tell her that one. I do hope they work it out since they have small children.

Hubby told me to be fat and happy for a while. So I haven't been obsessing about working out. I am still trying to control my eating habits and I do my hand weights at work and take the stairs, etc. Things like that still count. Hubby loves me the way I am. It's just me being comfortable with the way I am. I will start working out again, but I am grateful that he wants to spend time reconnecting with me. He cracks me up. My hubby is a funny guy and he knows how to take care of his family. He even has Paco trained pretty well. I am very blessed to have him in my life. He treats me like a queen. I got flowers the other night for no reason at all. This time they were some he picked up, not delivered, which is even nicer. He actually took the time and picked them out for me. He is amazing. I can't wait for his goals to become achievements. I will be glad to say I was along for the ride.

Goodnight.

What's going on???

Well. I must say that today I am coming off a highly charged emotional roller coaster. I feel pretty good today, considering... I had Wingstop for dinner. Hubby went and hung out with his buddies for a few hours and made it home by 10 PM! So proud of him! :)

Quick update. We were able to get our bedroom suite delivered and set up over the weekend. It's beautiful! We originally just got the bed and the dresser and now that it's all in there, we want... or I want the night stands. So I went back and ordered those. Can't wait til we get them in! I went to Target and found the prettiest comforter set and throw pillows. And I bought some 400 ct sheets, 2 sets, to match. I spent 200.00 on bedding including new cushy pillows! I also got C and L new sheets and pillows. I am extremely happy with my purchase. And our new mattress is sooo comfortable.

We also bought an above ground metal frame pool. It's 15' x 42" and I think the kids are going to love it! Now if we can get the yard ready for it, we'll be all set! Our new kitchen chairs also arrived today. I love new furniture and toys. I also finally got the Xbox hooked up and played some games. I stink at the role playing games so far. But I kicked butt playing PacMan! LOL!


This past Monday was Memorial Day. We were invited to go to a posthumous pinning ceremony for one of hubby's buddies who died while they were deployed. We had planned on going... Hubby seemed in good spirits about it when the invite first came out over a month ago. However, the night before, I asked him a few questions along the lines of if he was wearing his dress blues, what time he wanted to set the alarm for, advised him of a message we got that had info about parking... things like that. And he mentioned how most of his friends couldn't relate to the movie we went to see, MacGruber, but his buddy would have... Seems to have been down about it over the last week or so. He said he wanted to stay home all day. So we declined my mom's request to get together and past up a visit to his aunt's celebration on Sunday.


Anyway, hubby snapped at me last night! And it caused this out pour of emotion that I think I was bottling up... stress hidden underneath happiness. I am so glad he's home but we are still trying to get on schedule with each other, still dealing with our day to day routine, work is kicking my butt and I love having an adult to talk to when I get home instead of just the kids. So it's the weird mix of feelings that I don't exactly know what to do with yet. It made me cry... We "made up" if you want to even call it an argument in like 10 minutes and I was happy again. I think my super long 9.5 hour work day got to me. The long weekend jam packed with stuff to do got to both of us. And maybe he was in a funk about his friend. Water under the bridge...


The twins have been climbing out of their cribs. Ugh. Or into each other's cribs. Elliebear had her end of year awards assembly today. She totally racked up on the awards. So very proud of her. Cici is struggling still with math. She passed all but the math TAKS test. We are still waiting for end of year report cards to determine if summer school is a go. I am proud of her for being so responsible and still dealing with school while hubby was gone. She (all of us) had a lot on her plate.

That's it for now. Gonna try to get some sleep. It is storming outside tonight. Guess that kinda goes with the territory inside... sometimes.