Stop this crazy thing! I want off...

of this roller coaster! Today was an emotional nightmare for me. I started off the by oversleeping today. It was intentional. I didn't have to be at work til noon but I had taken 4 hours of appointment time from work, scheduled it a few weeks ago, because the little ones had to get their H1N1 2nd round dose of the vaccine. The appointments were supposed to be 8:30- until... I didn't get there until 9 AM. I woke up with this feeling that has stayed with me throughout the day. I felt worried. I felt tense and sick. My stomach in knots and my neck and shoulders in pain. And my head is killing me!
Cici went with me to help out with the kids. Because they were all coughing, it was a 'rule' that the doctor had to check them all before she would allow them to get the shots. That was 40.00 extra I wasn't expecting. I knew I had 40.00 for Princess and Bubba's follow ups from the strep... But I wasn't expecting 80.00 total.
The appointment results were: Bruiser= bronchitis, Princess and Bubba= still have strep, Pinky, Bubba and Bruiser= ear infections. This all resulted in me having to spend 47.00 and change on meds for them. New antibiotic and more medicine for the nebulizer. (I got home this evening with the meds, put them on the table, started doing other things and Bruiser got a hold of one of the bottles and broke it. I tried to take it back to CVS to see if they did any courtesy refills. Not only do they NOT do that, they require me call the doctor to ask them to call it back in. Geez. That whole incident put me into uncontrollable tears for a bit. I was so mad at her!) They were able to go back to school. Since they have been on antibiotics, they are no longer contagious per the doc.
For awhile, my mind was spinning toward the finances. I had to take an unexpected 4 hours unpaid last week when Bubba got sick and this 4 hours today means I have missed technically a whole day of pay for next check. Money isn't a huge issue. My hubby would tell me I am worrying about the wrong thing. I can hear him saying it now. But that's me... I'm a worrier. This made that previous feeling worse.
Good thing is, I was off work for 4 hours. That's always nice. And I got to talk to hubby on the phone and via Yahoo! Instant Messenger while at the doc's office. That made me feel good for a while. The first highlight of the day- hearing my honey's voice!
Got to work and was having a decent day. I got flowers from my hubby today. Second highlight of the day! Much much needed gift. Card said thanks for being me and that he missed me. I was truly happy and felt better still. Then word got around that one of our backfills (help-reps), passed away. She went to the hospital for what she thought was an asthma attack and turned out to have con genitive heart failure. She had some surgery for it and died due to complications from the surgery.
They sent out an email saying we could take Etime, which is unpaid, excused time. I mulled over it for an hour before deciding the day was shot sales wise and another 2 hours wasn't going to break me, so I left. I decided to take Cici and Elliebear to the movies. They have been cooped up in the house. They did a bit of cleaning too. I figured, hey, it's Christmas time. How many other times of year do I get excused time off for no reason??? How many times would I be able to spend time with them without them helping out with the little kids???
We went to Movie Tavern and saw Avatar in 3D. This was the 3rd highlight of my day. I am putting this movie on one of my favorite of all times list. It was beautiful. The story was excellent. I laughed and cried. I clapped and cheered and oohed and aahed. It was truly amazing. Can't wait for the bluray on that one! Went and picked up the kids from daycare. Realized I didn't take anything out to eat this AM. So stopped at Church's for dinner.
I spent so much money today and didn't make any. Wow. I hate that. I always feel guilty about taking time off for me when I can be making money to provide for everyone. But I still can't put my finger on what's making my stomach flip flop. I have had this feeling all day. Even before I knew what was going to happen with the doc, the meds, the time off, etc. I don't know what the deal is, but I want it to stop!
I got a letter from the chief of the Navy Reserve... encouraging me and my sailor to attend a Returning Warrior Workshop. Hmmm...
I guess I will gear up for tomorrow. Work work and more work. IF they offer Etime tomorrow or Thursday... I am turning it down. Don't want to make this feeling any worse. At least I will have my beautiful flowers sitting on my desk to cheer me up. Maybe I am feeling this way because of Christmas coming. Ya' think???
I love you, hubby. I wish you were home... Can you tell them you changed your mind?