I know, I know... I'm a bad blogging wifey...

I have blogged since Christmas! It just seems I have been super busy! And I haven't been working because I am on vacation this week. On Monday I took Princess and Bruiser out of daycare early and we went to see the Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. Tuesday, it snowed again, but didn't stick this time. I went in the AM to see Sherlock Holmes with MM and JW @ Studio Movie Grill. It was very good and nice to see those ladies. From there, got package ready to mail to hubby. Came home and did some chores with the girls.
I wanted to watch the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. I bought all three movies because I loved the first two, A VERY LONG TIME AGO. I however have never seen the third one. We actually saw parts 1 and 2 at the theatre. But not the third. Lo and behold, I make it through the first two DVDs only to open the container to the third, the only one I haven't seen, and it's not there! So I am on a mission to find the missing DVD somewhere here in the house. Today I bought 4 movies... my bluray/movie addiction is just terrible! :) I bought Jennifer's Body, the Marine 2, the movie '9', and Paranormal Activity.
I put 16 rolls of film in to be developed yesterday. There was a coupon I couldn't pass up. I cant wait to see what precious memories are held in those little containers of film!
Lots of errands today. Including my monthly payment on that stupid no seat belt ticket! UGH! I am hoping to get my bedroom organized enough today to get the XBOX set up. Hubby can wait for his games, well, I want to play with him, but I am ready for Pacman! :)
More later. Just a quick update. Haven't heard from hubby all day! :( Miss that man so much!

I can't believe it's here...

It's Christmas. We had freak snow. Snow that actually stuck to the ground. Never happens here. A white Christmas and hubby missed it. I am not too surprised that this seems like just another day. I feel tired and crabby.
I grabbed a few last minute gifts today. Found myself black pants, a black shirt and a new black purse. Got some flip flops for C and L for around the house. These tile floors can get cold with bare feet. I also got Princess and Bruiser "princess dresses," a pink Barbie one for Bruiser and a blue Cinderella one for Princess. I also got Bubba a pair of courdoroy pants and a sweater (from mother-in-law, she sent Princess and the frog outfits to the girls) I picked up the District 9 dvd. I filled up the gas tank and got the oil changed on the truck today. Pretty productive, I guess.
I left work at 9:45 AM. I know I am going to regret it, but if hubby says don't worry, momma won't worry. I know we'll be OK. I just get so worked up about stuff. And I still, as usual, feel like I didn't get anything accomplished. I got to Skype with hubby a bit ago for an hour. Yay! And the man finally set up a facebook account. I am still in shock! Were bringing him in to the new world bit by bit. Welcome, honey!
I have been reading all the merry Christmas posts on facebook today. I am still not feeling it. I am glad the time is passing so quickly. I can't wait to reunite with my husband and get reacquainted. I really want to be in the spirit. But I am just not. I know I am not the only one who feels this way. This holiday stuff just isn't the same when your family is incomplete. I could care less about the gifts. I just want this whole that is in my life to be filled. And my hubby is the only thing that can do it.
I must say, I am grateful for this in a way. I have made some new friends. I am showing my children how to be strong. They will be so much more prepared for life's hardships than others. They are taking this like little warriors, ready for battle. I told my husband I appreciated him today. Just in case I hadn't told him lately. He, and his military brothers and sisters are making the ultimate sacrifice. Though we are missing him, we still have the comforts of home. We have familiarity. We have each other. They have this new environment, new culture and new people to learn to live with. I can't even begin to imagine. I am grateful for the friends I have made along this journey. I am thankful to have them as a support system. I am thankful that I am able to provide a Christmas for my children, with my husband's support from afar, when so many others are unable to.
This time apart will never be regained. My hubby is missing out on so much. Our babies are growing up so fast and these moments are gone in the blink of an eye, it seems. It saddens me. I saw a bumper sticker today that said, "if you love your freedom, thank a vet." I know my freedom is worth the sacrifice. I know my children's freedom is worth it... that's the big picture. But is it really worth it? I tell you, for all this freedom, I feel pretty trapped...
Miss you like crazy, honey. I hope you have as Merry a Christmas as humanly possible. I love you and I am constantly thinking of you. Be safe and let's hurry up and get 'er done! I am ready for you to come home!

Christmas Eve Eve...

Tomorrow is Christmas eve. I am ready for the big day. In a way, I am dreading it, however, I am glad it's here. It just means the clock is ticking. I am going to try to make this more than just another day. We are supposed to go to my brother and sister-in-laws' house tomorrow. I guess I am ready for that. I feel like crap today. I took some Nyquil. We'll see if that does the trick. w
I called the pharmacy manager today. He agreed to refill Princess' antibiotic for free. I told him thanks for having the Christmas spirit. I stayed the whole day at work. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I held on til the end. No excused time today. Now, tomorrow may be a different story. The daycare is closed so I am going to have to rely on CiCi and Elliebear to babysit and 8 hours is too much. I just don't have another option right now. So hopefully they offer the time off tomorrow.
I haven't talked to my Mom. Strange. I don't know if she's been working or what. Guess we both have been busy. MM showed me how to "bling my blog". I just picked a cool one to experiment with today. Will have to research that one a bit more later.
Got to Skype with hubby for about 10 minutes tonight and instant messaged with him earlier today. My tulips drank the whole vase of water overnight and were so perky and beautiful today. The husband-unit is truly one of a kind. I am glad he was issued to me for this mission- operation LIFE! Love you, hubby!

Stop this crazy thing! I want off...

of this roller coaster! Today was an emotional nightmare for me. I started off the by oversleeping today. It was intentional. I didn't have to be at work til noon but I had taken 4 hours of appointment time from work, scheduled it a few weeks ago, because the little ones had to get their H1N1 2nd round dose of the vaccine. The appointments were supposed to be 8:30- until... I didn't get there until 9 AM. I woke up with this feeling that has stayed with me throughout the day. I felt worried. I felt tense and sick. My stomach in knots and my neck and shoulders in pain. And my head is killing me!
Cici went with me to help out with the kids. Because they were all coughing, it was a 'rule' that the doctor had to check them all before she would allow them to get the shots. That was 40.00 extra I wasn't expecting. I knew I had 40.00 for Princess and Bubba's follow ups from the strep... But I wasn't expecting 80.00 total.
The appointment results were: Bruiser= bronchitis, Princess and Bubba= still have strep, Pinky, Bubba and Bruiser= ear infections. This all resulted in me having to spend 47.00 and change on meds for them. New antibiotic and more medicine for the nebulizer. (I got home this evening with the meds, put them on the table, started doing other things and Bruiser got a hold of one of the bottles and broke it. I tried to take it back to CVS to see if they did any courtesy refills. Not only do they NOT do that, they require me call the doctor to ask them to call it back in. Geez. That whole incident put me into uncontrollable tears for a bit. I was so mad at her!) They were able to go back to school. Since they have been on antibiotics, they are no longer contagious per the doc.
For awhile, my mind was spinning toward the finances. I had to take an unexpected 4 hours unpaid last week when Bubba got sick and this 4 hours today means I have missed technically a whole day of pay for next check. Money isn't a huge issue. My hubby would tell me I am worrying about the wrong thing. I can hear him saying it now. But that's me... I'm a worrier. This made that previous feeling worse.
Good thing is, I was off work for 4 hours. That's always nice. And I got to talk to hubby on the phone and via Yahoo! Instant Messenger while at the doc's office. That made me feel good for a while. The first highlight of the day- hearing my honey's voice!
Got to work and was having a decent day. I got flowers from my hubby today. Second highlight of the day! Much much needed gift. Card said thanks for being me and that he missed me. I was truly happy and felt better still. Then word got around that one of our backfills (help-reps), passed away. She went to the hospital for what she thought was an asthma attack and turned out to have con genitive heart failure. She had some surgery for it and died due to complications from the surgery.
They sent out an email saying we could take Etime, which is unpaid, excused time. I mulled over it for an hour before deciding the day was shot sales wise and another 2 hours wasn't going to break me, so I left. I decided to take Cici and Elliebear to the movies. They have been cooped up in the house. They did a bit of cleaning too. I figured, hey, it's Christmas time. How many other times of year do I get excused time off for no reason??? How many times would I be able to spend time with them without them helping out with the little kids???
We went to Movie Tavern and saw Avatar in 3D. This was the 3rd highlight of my day. I am putting this movie on one of my favorite of all times list. It was beautiful. The story was excellent. I laughed and cried. I clapped and cheered and oohed and aahed. It was truly amazing. Can't wait for the bluray on that one! Went and picked up the kids from daycare. Realized I didn't take anything out to eat this AM. So stopped at Church's for dinner.
I spent so much money today and didn't make any. Wow. I hate that. I always feel guilty about taking time off for me when I can be making money to provide for everyone. But I still can't put my finger on what's making my stomach flip flop. I have had this feeling all day. Even before I knew what was going to happen with the doc, the meds, the time off, etc. I don't know what the deal is, but I want it to stop!
I got a letter from the chief of the Navy Reserve... encouraging me and my sailor to attend a Returning Warrior Workshop. Hmmm...
I guess I will gear up for tomorrow. Work work and more work. IF they offer Etime tomorrow or Thursday... I am turning it down. Don't want to make this feeling any worse. At least I will have my beautiful flowers sitting on my desk to cheer me up. Maybe I am feeling this way because of Christmas coming. Ya' think???
I love you, hubby. I wish you were home... Can you tell them you changed your mind?

Sunday... Not too shabby close to the weekend...

Our local basketball team, my favorite, won tonight! And our local football team won yesterday! Woo Hoo! Just wanted to start with that.
Today was kinda nice. Did some cleaning. Took the kids to Cici's for dinner. Forgot to mention we got some passes @ party yesterday for free buffets. So I took advantage of that today. Didn't feel like cooking. It was a nice day out. Took the kids out to play for a bit. Went to Kohl's so C could spend her GC. Elliebear didn't want a GC to Game Stop. I told her I wasn't giving her 50.00 in cash to carry around but I'd buy her 50.00 in stuff from somewhere else and keep the card. I mean, hubby and I will have that XBOX 360 when he gets back... She didn't want that either. Weird kid. She's not so much into video games. I tried to talk her into trading with C. I couldn't tell C that she had a Nintendo DSi waiting for her for Xmas, so that would have been perfect... But C didn't want it. She is starting to finally get kind of girly on me. My little tomboy is growing up. C ended up buying herself a bubble bath kit and a silver ring from Kohl's. L and I made a deal... I gave her 25.00 in cash, which she spent 15.00 of at Kohl's and I took the GC. Again, weird kid. She just wanted cash in her pocket. I'm betting that she will have misplaced the remaining 10.00 by the end of the week. I found J-Man's remote control helicopter at Kohl's as well, daddy. So that is taken care of. I really don't think I have any more gifts to buy. Did I mention I picked up another movie for them (G-Force) and some more little Webkinz I found on sale at the base last weekend? Odds and Ends but they will like them.
The girls are out of school tomorrow. The little ones have daycare. Let's hope they get their room cleaned. I really don't want to have to yell at anyone when I get home from work tomorrow. I am hoping that sometime during this break, I will be able to take Princess and Bruiser to see the Princess and the Frog movie. I really think they will like it. We still haven't found Froggy. Bruiser is so upset about it.
Guess I'd better go to bed. Unfortunately, I am fortunate to have a job to go to in the morning. Ugh. Oh well. Dreaming of you as I lay down my head, my love. As I hope you found you dreamt of me when you awoke. I love you.

What a Great Day!

Honey, our little family had a great day yesterday! Got up at about 8, started off everyone with malt-o meal. (And hubby, I am sending a box of it for you to share with your Seabee brothers. It is apparently pretty popular stuff!) Then got everyone ready for the FRG Christmas party. We actually made it on time! Can you believe it!?! The first FRG event we made it on time to. Everyone cooperated and nobody messed up their clothes and we didn't forget anything. It was amazing!
The even was hosted by Southwest Airlines. They truly went above and beyond. They had all kinds of food, chicken strips, burritos, nachos, meatballs, corn salad, cookies, cake, fruit, quesadillas, and stuffed jalapenos. That's what I remember. The kids and I were able to take some pictures with Santa. The kids made Christmas cards with decorations provided by the FRG. And Southwest is going to mail them. We got little Seabee poker chips as keepsakes. And as a door prize I got a spa set. C and L got a musical snow globe, a connect 4 game, and a sand art set. C got a 25.00 GC to Kohl's and an art set. Perfect for her, she loves to draw. L got a 50.00 GC to Game Stop and a digital camera. I also got a Mary Kay hand cream set and a measuring cup set. Princess got a Mother Goose book. I was just saying the other day that they need to have more Mother Goose in school now. But everyone is just diving in to actual factual now. Each family got a Southwest Airlines mini-popcorn popper. Just like at the movies but about 2 feet tall. And they gave us these little blankets that zip up into pillows. Each kid got a teddy bear. And the hubby and I got little duffel bags for the gym. I am going to let the 4 little ones open their FRG gifts on Christmas. Everyone was so nice. It was good to see everyone.
I bought a Seabee cookbook that one of the wives had put together. Looks like it has some good recipes in it. I may never get around to cooking any of them but surely hubby will try some of them out when he returns. I just wanted to support the FRG.
The kids and I also made buttons with pics of hubby on them. It was a fun event. Even though I was chasing after Sheridan and the twins most of the afternoon. They got to see some planes take off and land as well.
I must say, I was in a much more festive mood upon leaving than I was going in. I was kind of in the dumps about Christmas. I think it was just being around all the smiling faces and out of the house. The gifts were amazing but it was more than that. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to have participated. So afterwards, we came home, chilled out for a bit. I went and got some McDonald's for dinner and then we packed up and went to look at Christmas lights in the neighborhood just about 5-10 minutes north of us. It took us an hour and a half to get through the neighborhood, it was so packed! However, there were some beautiful displays. Everyone actually stayed awake the whole time!
Got home, got everyone into bed for a good night's sleep. Honey, it was a wonderful day. I was wiped out, pooped, tired, the whole 9, but well worth it. C and L were surprised at how much fun they had. Think it took their mind off their bio-dad's decision to cancel... For the moment. The only thing missing was you, hubby. Love you! Missing you like crazy!

missing my baby...

Sometimes it seems like I haven't talked to my husband in months, though I may have briefly spoken with him recently. I am feeling lonely. No matter who's around or what's going on. My heart knows what it needs, and that's my husband. I have been extra busy lately it seems. Today is Friday, thank goodness. I had an ok day though. I went to Shae's 10 year anniversary luncheon at Salt Grass. It was ok. There were only 3 girls including myself, Alisha and Sylvia. Oh well, Abbie, the manager went to supervise as well. The rest were all of Shae's buddies. It was nice to be off the phones, though I wasn't very talkative or feeling very social with everyone.
I am still just ready for Christmas to come and go. I was thinking about trying to go to the Union Christmas party on Saturday night with JoBeth and Veronica. But I don't feel much like partying. I have to take the kids to the FRG party tomorrow as well. I feel tired from just thinking about it.
A short week coming and then vacation! The girls bio-dad cancelled their first week of visiting. He called and told me that he was going to Houston for a week. Didn't ask why, don't care. But once again, I get the task of delivering this news to C and L. I was supposed to let them go this Sunday but now he's saying the Saturday or Sunday after Christmas. I am relieved, personally. The less time the better that they are away from me.
I am missing my husband more and more. This involuntary celibacy stinks! :) But I truly miss his company. One of the major reasons I am with my husband is his ability to make me laugh. That man is funny! All I can do is count the days until I can laugh with him again.

I just don't know...

It's Friday night (technically Saturday morning) and I just don't know. I have so much to do around this place I just don't even know where to start. I am so tired. I feel a bit overwhelmed. I just don't know. I am trying to keep a smile on my face but I am feeling truly discouraged. The only thing that is keeping me going is knowing that I have vacation coming up very soon. I know it's going to fly by- the one week I want to move slowly.
I was dozing off the last couple of hours at work today. It was kind of slow. Christmas is keeping our callers busy I guess. I did get to instant message via cell phone with the hubby today. That was nice. And Skype for a bit as well. He got his Christmas tree. Cute little thing. I am trying to convince him to put the lights on it. Oh well.
We had a food in at work today as well as a gift exchange that I totally forgot about, so I didn't get to participate in the gift exchange, but I did bring chips for the food in. Everything was good, ham, coleslaw, cheese, fruits, beans, croissants, brownies, cake and dips. I enjoyed it. I was smiling on the outside but if people really only knew how I was feeling.
I feel like I am stuck on this desert island and I am surrounded by restless natives. These ships full of people pass by and wave and occasionally come on the island to replenish their supplies and then they are gone again, leaving me all alone. I get an occasional message in a bottle (from my hubby) which cheers me up, but ultimately, I am alone on the island until I am rescued.
I rented the Disney movie "Earth" to watch with the kids this weekend. If I have time, I'd like to see it, but hopefully it will at least keep them occupied so I can get things done. I am so ready for this deployment to be over. I got a wonderful card from my hubby today that made me genuinely smile. I love him so much. I'd do anything for him, including endure this torture of being away from him.
I miss you, hubby. I love you very much. Thanks for keeping me going when I don't think I would have the strength otherwise. I saw a great quote today... "challenges make you discover things about yourself you never knew." That was from Cicely Tyson. I am learning a lot about myself.

There will be blood...

I woke up in a puddle of blood. Yes, I am putting this in here because it's bothering the HECK out of me! This is the 3rd month with no birth control. Was trying to save the money while hubby is gone. Yes, I know the benefits about preventing cancer, etc. but I also know I have been able to keep some weight off. Who knows if that's even why... But I am officially going to have to start back after this cycle because this first and second day of overflow is driving me nuts. That was my cue to call in today and take vacation. Besides, I have been neglecting my home.

Started the day with dropping off all the kids at school. Princess has been off and on complaining of a headache. It's been in the mornings mostly so I just assume that it's because she tries to stay up late and may still be sleepy. But she's done it for a couple days now, so I guess I will call the doctor. Ellie bear called me just as I pulled up in the driveway to say she forgot to have me sign something. And then I remembered asking them for their progress reports last night and getting distracted and forgetting about it later on. So, I have no idea what is going on at this point with grades. Will have to catch up on that one tonight.

Then went to hubby's bank and took out $200. Thanks baby! 173.89 spent at the grocery store and that was after my massive stack of coupons. Original total was $205 and change! I love being a frugal shopper!

Of course now that I am back home, I thought of a few things I missed. I have to go to the post office today and to Kinko's to make copies of some photos I am sending out with the Christmas cards. I have to clean clean clean at home! Just wanted to sit and start this blog early...

To Be Continued...
Got started with the cleaning and then hubby skype'd me. He told me where the key to the trunk was so I opened it and found some goodies inside. Shirts for me and the kids, candy and some DVDs. The best was the long johns that smelled like him. He bagged them up for me! Sweet man who knows my heart!
Got back to work then got a phone call from my cousin, talked to her all of about 10 minutes to be interrupted by a call from the daycare. Princess has been throwing up and complaining of an upset stomach. I go to pick her up and make an appointment for the doctor. Come home, she pukes in the driveway before we ca.n get out of the car. I put her in bed, clean out the car, do a bit more around the house til time to go to the doctor.
Find out from doctor she has strep throat with "scarlatina" rash/fever? That's why her face was all splotchy. Man...
Luckily I had gotten everything ready for dinner last night. Roast in crock pot, delish... Princess taking amoxicillan (antibiotic) and tummy feels better she says. Took my Mom money. She is having issues with finances right now. Got absolutely nothing I set out to do accomplished today. Still feeling like crap, now physically and mentally.
I miss you, hubby. You are the only thing that can make this all better. I think I will just cry myself to sleep and let the rest of the world pass me by... This day has truly turned to crap...
WOW! Hubby is good! He said he "sensed a disturbance in the force" and called me to say good morning/good night (that time difference is crazy!) How amazing the sheer coincidence of "good timing" was tonight. A call just as I was blogging for help! :) I think I can hold off on the crying now. Love you, Hubby!!!

Happy (belated) Anniversary To Me!

I am having a decent day today. The calls are pretty slow. I went to my anniversary luncheon- it was 10 years on July 12, but I was out on disability for carpel tunnel so I just got around to having it today- at Pappasito's Mexican restaurant. I invited Shannon, JoBeth, Chris, Don, Shae, Shenika (the one who's little boy has a party next weekend), Alisha and my manager, Stan came along. I ate the fish (talapia) taco with a beef enchilada and beans and rice. It was yummy but the best part was the extra 1.5 hrs off the phone!
JoBeth had the nicest surprise for me today. There was a card attached that said on the front, "you worked your butt off and somebody noticed!" I can't remember the inside right now. But I shared the award that came in the mail with her and she was so impressed that hubby thought of me and my sacrifices that she decided to acknowledge me too. Well, she knows of my love for fairies. So she got me a 2010 calendar with different artists' fairy drawings for each month. They are truly beautiful. JoBeth is an awesome friend. She wants me to go to the Union Christmas Party with her on 12-19-09 if I can get a sitter. That's the same day as the FRG Christmas party. Whew! I'm gonna be wiped out! I probably won't be able to get a sitter anyway.
Mary came right before we left. The bitch is back. Oh how I hate it when she's in town. But so far she's not the heavy hitter she has been on the first day the last 2 months. We'll see what happens tomorrow. I am really considering taking the day off. I have so much to do it's not even funny.
I got a trunk in the mail today from the hubby. It's padlocked so I hope he will be sending me the key. Curiosity is killing this little kitty. I wanna' know what's inside. Night before last I browned enough chicken breasts for 2 meals so dinner was quick and easy tonight. I didn't eat much because I had such a huge lunch. Got a roast ready to go in the crock pot in the fridge. Before I go to work in the morning, just gotta' start it up...
It is so cold here right now. I hate bundling up all the kids in the mornings. Oh well. Just gotta' get through the winter. Princess woke up from a dream whining. I asked what was wrong and she just kept saying, "dada"... It was so sad. The princess is taking this deployment harder than I am.
I am disappointed. I confirmed today that I need one more science class for my associates degree. I thought I was done. Don't know how I overlooked that and frankly don't want to think about it right now. I did as requested by my husband. I sent off for a transcript evaluation for Bellevue University. $11.25 SMU charges for that! I will send off for one from my last school as well and we'll see what happens.
I didn't get to blog Monday and Tuesday. Not much happened. I got to speak to hubby very briefly on the phone both days. No Skype. :( He got his Christmas box. Yay! I have more stuff ready to go out soon. Hopefully this weekend. I got in the mail on Tuesday an award from the Committee for the Employer Support of the Guard and Reserve (for my state). It came with a nice certificate. Hubby nominated me for it. Wasn't that sweet? Thanks baby! It was honoring me for my sacrifices while he serves his country and for supporting him! Anytime, babe!
I bought the Harry Potter movie and Public Enemies with Johnny Depp and Christian Bale on Tuesday but haven't watched them yet. I still haven't seen Taking of Pelham 123. It is so hard to find the time to watch movies now. I can barely keep my eyes open. It's almost midnight again, so I will turn in for the evening.
I love you, hubby! I can't wait to see your face again!

For the love of my children...

We had some very disturbing news in Seabeeville this week. I wanted to just do a separate post regarding what happened. A little one has died. He was just 5 years old and his father is deployed currently. His mother was in the hospital with pneumonia and while she was there, and he was in the care of others, he swallowed a pushpin and died of complications.
Upon hearing that news and sharing it with my older girls, I cried. I wanted to share it with them because of the importance of keeping an eye on their siblings and each other. Life is too short and I don't want to make it any shorter. They take it for granted that the little ones can entertain themselves sometimes. I wanted to give them a reminder that they must always help me to pay attention because Mommy can't be in 7 places at once.
The separation is hard, but for a tragedy like that to happen amidst being apart from your loved ones is just too terrible to even imagine. I can't imagine the father's anguish nor can I imagine the mother's pain, especially as her husband wasn't there to immediately comfort her.
I do wish that family all the peace and love that they can receive. Not only in spirit but in flesh. And I can only hope that I can keep myself and my family healthy and happy until we are whole again.

I love weekends!

Friday went by really fast at work! Just as I hoped. I left work so happy. Got a few emails from my hubby that morning. And I got to talk to him on the phone and Skype! :) woo hoo! elation!
My doctor's appointment went well. I didn't get seen until almost 5 PM though. That office is awesome, but they are too busy! I have a clean bill of "lady" health.
Friday night didn't consist of any wild parties. :) Unless you count the broom and lemon scented Joy. I did, however, Skype with hubby til about 1 AM so I slept in on Saturday...
I woke up too late to go to the base to exercise. I went to Elliebear's violin concert at the local high school. I took Princess with me and she was so sleepy I ended up leaving after L's performance and coming back to pick her up at the end. Ellie is so emotional. She was crying because one of the other girls in the class was being mean to her. I tried to convince her to not let others get under her skin, but I know better than anyone, that's easier said than done. Went to the grocery store. Couldn't find my list so I got what I could remember and when I got home, noticed so much more I needed and forgot. I need time to go down each aisle and just fill up the basket with what we need. Oh well. We'll survive one day at a time.
Saturday night we put up the Christmas tree lights and new little ornaments, which aren't going to make it through Christmas, between the twins and Bruiser. Our little tree doesn't look like it belongs in an episode of Charlie Brown anymore. :) I am not putting the gifts underneath the tree. If they can't leave the lights and ornaments alone, I know they can't leave the gifts alone!
Sunday... More Skype time with hubby this morning. I hope and pray that he gets to take that SCWS (?) board soon. I am so worried about him doing well and getting it out of the way. Not that I don't think he'll do well. It's that I don't want him to have too much on his plate when he's there. I guess it could be good to have some things to occupy his mind.
Hubby wants me to take some classes. I really want to, but I am afraid I won't be able to put forth my best efforts right now. I can barely find time to read the Sunday comics...
I got the new Bluray player hooked up in the bedroom this weekend. I got tons and tons of laundry done. And there's still about 2-3 loads left. This included comforters and sheets. I meant to wash the kids coats but... I forgot. I made fried talapia tonight with some egg noodles in Alfredo sauce and 2 cans of mixed veggies poured in. It was really good. And I have leftovers for lunch tomorrow.
I am so disappointed in how much I got done. I did Elliebear's hair today too. She took her braids out. Princess fell asleep b4 8 PM so she didn't get her usual Sunday night braiding. Which just means I have to do it tomorrow.
I wrapped all the Christmas gifts today. Which took all afternoon with all the interruptions. This day has come and ended way too quickly.
Princess has 4 Barbies, 4 Disney princess books, 4 new games for her Vtech system, the riprazor trike, new Disney Princess shoes and purse.
Bruiser has 2 Barbies, the radio flyer trike and a cookware set.
(Now they will probably end up sharing the cookware and the books. I don't trust bruiser with the game system though- she broke the one she got last year)
Cici has her DSi, the fish lamp, 3 webkinz (Internet animals) and she got the sea monkeys as an early gift.
Elliebear has the keyboard, 1 webkinz pet and a pair of Heeleys (those shoes with the skates built in), the Hannah Montana and Tinkerbell movies that came out this fall on DVD.
Pinky has the doll that sings "I'm a little Teapot" and that electronic drum.
Bubba has the giant thing of blocks in the plastic wagon and a big CAT dump truck.
I got gifts for my brother's kids and hubby's brother's kids got sea monkeys as requested. I thought about getting a gift for my cousin's little girl. But I just don't know. I am also invited to a co worker's little boys 2nd b-day party on Dec 13th or 12th (that Sunday) at this place called Abbie's Playhouse. I think it's gonna be fun for the little ones. She said it's for ages 8 and under so C and L will basically just go to enjoy the pizza, cake and ice cream and to help mom out of course. :) Last year we went to the one she had a McD's. She said he likes Sesame Street and books would be OK. So, I found 5 little books, beginner books with the Sesame Street characters. They were only like a buck each. But I couldn't find any Sesame Street toys that weren't $30+ talking Elmo's so... She's just gonna have to understand that I am doing Christmas for 6 and it's a bit rough right now... Oh well. Maybe I will add some candy or something in with it.
Dexter was just delicious tonight. Man, wish hubby was here to see it with me. It's almost midnight. I guess I will join the rest of the house and go to sleep.
I have a long week ahead of me. OT practically each day. And so much to do at home each night. UGH. I just have to do that little engine chant... I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. :)
I love you, my wonderful hubby! I hope as you read this and catch up on our lives here at home, you are safe and know that you are so very loved.

As The World Turns...

All I can do is try not to fall off into oblivion. I am so glad tomorrow is Friday. I will get off work at 3 PM for my annual exam. Yeah! I'd rather have my insides prodded than be at that place. I guess it's not so bad, but that statement is true. I only took the last 3 hours off so I go to lunch for an hour from 1-2 and my appt is at 3:45. I will have some time to get some stuff accomplished before I go.
I had an ok day. I didn't "hear" from my husband today. I miss his voice and now that I've had a taste of Skype, I miss seeing his face. But I did get 4 amazing cards containing letters in the mail today! Thanks honey! You are always there for me, even half a world away!
I realized today that I forgot to include something in husband's box. Just hope he can deal without til next time. I am seriously trying to get some stuff accomplished. It's happening, I guess, slowly but surely.
I changed my mind about the FSA. I dropped it to 1,000.00 a year. I can't guarantee we'll spend the 2,000.00 I originally opted for but since we have a 700.00 deductible this next term, so we'd only have 300.00 to make up and surely we'd do that. I hate this stuff. I was so spoiled by our old contracts. This sucks. We have to meet the deductible, then we pay 10% of the remaining cost of the visit to the doctor until we reach 1,000.00 out of pocket, then everything is covered at 100%. Ugly. Just hope all of us stay healthy next year. And hope we don't have another deployment baby! :)
I did get excellent news. The NACCRA group is going to pay 50.00/child toward my daycare bill each month. Not anywhere near what I was hoping for, but I'll take it! That'll cover at least one or 2 other utilities or an extra car payment each month. So, I'm excited! It's a lot of paperwork and stuff but I guess it's worth the trouble.
Cold weather is coming in. Supposed to be worse tomorrow than today. I think it was like 38 degrees when I got home from work. Brrr. This is hubby's weather, not mine. I missed my Private Practice TV show tonight because I was on the phone with HP trying to get the printer to work in the bedroom for the paperwork and with Time Warner, trying to get the kids PC to work. This evening has just been tiring. We ate left over spaghetti and a 5.00 pepperoni pizza from Lil Caesars for dinner. I was just beat!
They are finally replacing the carpet at 2401! Hubby, you know how long that carpet has been there! So we have to remove everything from the floor before we leave tomorrow and take home our breakables. So, I must remember to bring home my beautiful roses! They have started to open up and you can still smell them from several feet away. I must say I have been extremely pleased with this most recent delivery. It was beautifully arranged. The flowers all bloomed at the same time. They smell spectacular. They are amazing. Thanks so much, baby! You know my heart.
I signed up for the 12 days of Whataburger free gift offer. Tomorrow's is a free breakfast taquito. Too bad I probably won't be able to get there before I go in in the morning. So we shall see what the next day has to offer. This will be a good thing, counting calories sometimes, you know.
Saturday Elliebear has her Christmas concert at the local high school. I wish hubby was able to hear her play, she's getting better. But still sounds like a beginning 5th grader who doesn't practice enough. :)
I am glad to be keeping busy. It makes the time go by faster. Need that! Brings me closer and closer to touching my husband again.

Winter Wednesday!

We had snow today! It didn't stick but it was so nice for the kids to be excited about it. The weather is supposed to be super-yucko the next couple of days. The kiddos have also been overjoyed at all the houses lit up with Christmas lights. And we have a tree up but no lights on it yet... I feel terrible. I just have so much to do...
I really need to wrap some gifts. I just don't even have time for that. I have wrapped Ellie's keyboard and Princess' Razor trike. Just because they were too big to hide. I watched the Maverick's game today. They beat New Jersey, which isn't saying much since NJ is 0-18. Poor apple pies. Princess is so cute. I said "oh, look at cute baby Pinky" and Princess said "she's an apple pie"... Ever since the Transformers apple pie/Optimus Prime incident, she's been obsessed with the words "apple pie".
It must be time for Mary... I have been pigging out all day. I went to What-a-burger for lunch, and felt like I could have eaten 2 of them, with onions rings and a large Diet Dr. Pepper. Then a coworker was given extra fries with her meal and I was starving, so I ate those. Then I had a peanut butter sandwich and some pistachios. I had a huge cup of water and 2.5 cups of coffee. And that was all at work. For dinner, I made spaghetti and green beans. Quick and simple. I had 2 huge helpings of spaghetti though. And a cookies-n-cream ice cream cone for desert. I feel just sick about my eating today. Not sick to my stomach, sick to my self esteem. I don't know what the deal is. I think I am stressing about a lot of stuff too. Now I have to go to the gym this weekend.
I didn't get to talk to hubby today. I did get to mail his Christmas box finally. Let's hope he gets it in a safe and timely manner. I really miss my husband. I feel sometimes that this is not even fair. But I knew what I was signing up for, I guess. Why can't those couples who want to be separated from each other go through this? Not me and my honey!
I finally finished my annual enrollment for health care. I decided on 2,000.00 annually for the FSA. It's gonna' cost me 166.67/month, but I believe I will spend that for items that are eligible plus doctor's fees. We'll see. I've gotta or I'll lose it! I hate that I even have to change anything. Oh well, Ce la vie. I could be working somewhere without any health care coverage, right?
It has been decided. They are going to close hubby's local post office. At least we'll only have one stop to make to check our mail now since his box will be relocated to my station. :) This is going to happen in February, honey.
Well, I can't say anything exciting happened today. I am just glad the day is over. We move on to the next one... One more down... Another one has bitten the dust... You get the idea.
Love to you, my dearest husband. I can't wait to kiss you!

Old Man Winter Rears His Ugly Head!

It's COLD! Not Buffalo, NY cold... but it's cold! And today it started raining.
Yesterday... Whew! A Monday... Wow. Well, it was pretty typical. Not bad, I guess. I didn't get to talk to hubby. Got some brief emails. Would've made for a very long day, except... I got mail! 3 cards and total of 13 pages of letters! I was overjoyed! The cockles of my heart were warmed! (watch your mind there, hubby!) :)
YEAH! my blogging was interrupted by a wonderful Skype call from my hubby! Love it! Love it! Love it! He makes me so tremendously happy!
Back to Monday. My boss man listened to one of my calls. I thought personally it was a perfect call. Perfect fact finding questions to suit my offers. I didn't miss any offers. Built rapport with the dude. He didn't really buy anything, but all in all, it was a perfect call. His response when we were done (32 minutes- covering his initial inquiry, his Uverse account and his home phone account, 2 separate bills, covering offers for wireless, speed upgrades, TV upgrades and support plus for his PC)was that the call was too long. So, I was like, "I don't see how you expect us to hit all our target offers and build rapport and fact find and handle their initial request without the call taking a bit of time". He said something as he was walking off. I can't even remember what it was so my response was, "I can't win for losing"... And I went to lunch. UGH. I hate my job. But it pays the bills, right?
Oh, I had rented over the weekend, some movies from Blockbuster. The Angels and Demons and my free rental was this really weird french vampire movie called, "let the right one in." It was about this 12 yr old boy who was bullied all the time and this weird little girl (who had been 12 for a long time as she was a vampire) befriended him and they ended up falling in love. I must say it was different. Anyway, that's about it for Monday.
Today, work was a bit better revenue wise. Still had some ridiculous customers. But it's OK. Today is over. I can let it go now. :) Made this Betty Crocker Chipotle Ranch (pasta) chicken salad for dinner. Added a can of corn to it along with 3 cooked and cubed skinless chicken breasts. It was really good. Simple dinner because I am so tired. We work an hour of OT today and yesterday and Bruiser kept me up all night Monday night.
And today, I can see all my hard work with cleaning over the weekend (along with my Mom's) going to shit! I got a call from Cici's teacher today and she got a 54 on her last math test. C is missing assignments, mostly from when she was out sick but she is behind and not understanding whatever they learned while she was out. She is scheduled to go to tutoring after school with the teacher this Thursday and Friday to catch up and get help. And if needed, which I am sure it will be, next week M, T, Th and F.
I feel so bad about the girls having to walk home right now. It's supposed to snow tonight/
tomorrow AM. And it's really cold. The last thing I need is for them to get sick and they already had to walk home in the rain today. Most of Cici's friends and L's walk home though. I don't know anybody (that they have told me about associating with) who doesn't walk. So it really sucks! But we have to do what we have to do. I can just harp about bundling up and wearing their coats and I guess it's no worse than if they wanted to go outside to play in this weather.
I still haven't had time to hook up the new Bluray DVD player in our bedroom. Too busy. But I did go today and get Terminator Salvation and Night at the Museum on bluray today. The later of the 2 was what we attempted to go see at the drive in south of us here over the summer. It was so far out and the little kids were soooo noisy that I couldn't hear most of the movie but Cici and Ellie got on top of the car and watched while I sat inside with the little ones and they said it was good. So, we'll see. I am a movie fanatic! I can't stop buying them. One of these days, (after I retire) I want to sit down and just watch each one of our movies once. I'd be there for days but still. That relaxes me.
I am trying to finish my annual enrollment for my health insurance at work. The deadline is the 3rd @ 7PM. I just want to make sure I don't mess anything up. I think I have it under control. We are going to try a flex spending plan. Wish me luck! Well, the best part of today... I got a dozen BEAUTIFUL roses from my hubby at work. They made me grin from ear to ear! And to top it off, I've now seen that handsome face before I conk out at bedtime. Goodnight, Daddy! Thank you for being you! There's not another one in the whole universe like you and I am lucky enough to have let the right one in... I love you, hubby!

I'm Easy like Sunday morning...

it's pretty early. 7 AM-ish. Bubba and Princess are awake. I myself didnt get to bed until 2 and then the hubby finally got his internet up and running and was able to skype me and for the first time since August (outside of old photos) I was able to see his face! And you just can't imagine how my heart melted. He looked good. Considering he said he'd been up all night playing with his new toy (laptop). We didn't get to talk too terribly long. Princess had literally just joined me in the bed. (Bruiser came later... they end up in my bed regardless). So she was able to see him too. That was awesome!

To be continued...
Later that day... :) My Mom came over to babysit while us big girls got out of the house. I took Cici and Elliebear to see 2012. It was very long... Like 2.5 hrs but it was certainly entertaining. Lots of destruction, so it was sad and kinda scary to think about the end of the world, but what can we do but 'embrace whatever suck' is handed to us... right? I feel like I am at peace with myself enough to accept my fate. There's nothing I can do about the fate of the earth. I can just ensure that I have lived, laughed and loved while I inhabited it.
I made navy beans with carrots and bacon/onion (seasoning), left over pork chops and rice for dinner. Mom ate with us. I braided Princess' hair and she did her laundry. It was a productive evening. She even helped clean a bit while she was here. That was awesome. My Mom is great in that aspect. I certainly needed the help.
Watched Desperate Housewives and Dexter. Both really heating up for the season! Great day. I enjoyed it. There was one minor thing... Well, it hurt me so I don't know how minor it was... During another Skype call, hubby showed me around his room. He was in good spirits about it, joking around. "Here's my closet" (3 pegs in the wall), "here's my bed" (uncomfy little cot thingy) and I thought to myself, Geez, just the night before I was complaining about the kids always clamoring over me and how cramped I was feeling. I was feeling cramped about being surrounded by people who love me and the hubby has no one to clamor over him who loves him. I felt like a really selfish bitch and it made me cry. I was so sad for my husband. And semi-disappointed in myself. But after a while, I came back to reality. I know I need a break every now and then from all this "love"... Heck, anybody would. Everyone's gotta have a bit of space... right?
Oh how I love you, hubby!

Oh Happy Day!

The hubby finally got his laptop in the mail today! I can stop stressing about it. I am so glad. He unfortunately has to pay 100.00/month for Internet access over there. What a rip! I should come up with an Internet service for our service members at a discount! But who knows, it may cost an arm and a leg to run it. Anyway, I upgraded windows 7 on my laptop today. another tedious process but it's done! We shall see if its any different.
I had an excellent day. Started with a trip to the base. I thought I'd try my luck at AAFES to see if they had any more of these "black Friday" bluray players by Samsung, normally 199.00 but on sale for 139.00. I got the last one. It's a beauty! I don't know if I will need HDMI cables to hook it up with. But now I can move a DVD player into the kids room for a movie every now and then. I went to the gym next and worked out for about an hour. I felt great! I did 18 minutes on a bike, 20 minutes of weights, 5 minutes of stretching, 23 minutes on the elliptical... Amazing!
From there, back home to sweep and mop the floors. Only made it to the kitchen as far as mopping but the floors are all swept except for my bedroom. That's a job for tomorrow. Did more laundry as well. Tuna fish sandwiches and chips for lunch. My brother's wife came over and while she was here, I went to get some Christmas shopping done. I got her little girl a Vtech educational toy and her little boy a dinosaur that walks and roars. She said he is going through a dinosaur phase. I also got my brother's other son from previous wife, a long sleeve shirt that says, "lost homework, if found, please complete and turn in"... I hope he gets a kick out of that.

I also got Cici and my in-laws 2 boys some sea monkeys... It's what they requested when I was over on Thanksgiving... and that made Cici want some. So, sea monkey adventure, here we come. I hope they aren't too messy. I am done shopping now. Unless I catch some good deals here and there, there isn't anything else I need or want for myself or the kids that is imperative. I got myself a new pair of shoes to work out in on Friday when I was at the base. A nice pair of under armour "foot sleeve" shoes. They felt so good!

I made iced tea, pork chops, rice, pinto beans and mixed vegetables for dinner. Sure was good! :) Bubba and Pinky were feeding each other, which was just a mess. They are so funny. Such characters.

I got to go see New Moon today. Oh man. I loved, loved, loved it! I have read all the books in the series. It's hard for me to pick a favorite book but this is one of them. I think that the relationship that's built up between Jacob and Bella is just key to the overall story and this was so much better acted out than Twilight and the action was so much better. I bought the soundtrack last week and I was disappointed. But once I heard the music with the appropriate scene, I was able to appreciate it a bit more, so I'll have to listen again and give it a new assessment.

I didn't blog on Friday. Sorry. But a quick catchup. I went to the base that AM with full intentions of working out. Nobody else showed up so I decided to check out AAFES. :) I got an Xbox 360 (as per my previous conversation with the husband) and I got 3 games, plus it comes with 3. I also got a great deal on a surround sound system that comes with a DVD player with built in AM/FM tuner and 5 speakers. That one is really for the hubby to hook up in the garage. That way he and his buddies can enjoy their football out there in much delight.

The XBox is kinda for both of us to play when he returns. I could become a game girl. :) I am so excited. For dinner on Friday I made this dirty rice with ground meat, a can of corn, a can of diced tomatoes and the rice mix itself, along with some cornbread. It was so good! I am getting brave with the experimenting. :)

There was a parade of lights in a local city here but I didn't have the energy to get everyone ready and go sit outside. I would have loved to have seen it, heard it was amazing. But, maybe next year. Just hope honey will be home to go with us. I never got a chance to see Bodies... That display of real human bodies preserved and posed. It looks like an amazing exhibit. Oh well. We also went to McDonald's for lunch on Friday and the kids played in the jungle gym thingy for a bit after we ate. Just nice to get them out of the house every now and then.

Well, not much else has happened. I was blessed to be able to speak to my hubby a bit. love it when he calls or emails me! always the highlight of my days! MMMHHHWWWAAA! Big kisses to you honey! Cant wait to see your face on the Skype!!!

Happy Turkey Day!

Or Fried Camel Day, as hubby called it. Today was great... Let me recap Wednesday first because I failed to blog...
Yesterday work was so slow. They gave out E-time and eventually they said if you got off by 5 you could leave. That was at about 3:45-4:00 PM. My luck, my schedule was til 5:15, so I was stuck there. Not much revenue. Got to do a crossword puzzle and read the latest comics so I can send them to hubby.
When I got off work, I went to Kroger and got the Hawaiian rolls and sodas to take to the in-laws tomorrow. Got a few other groceries as well. Then picked up little ones from day care. Came home to find C & L still hadn't completed the chores I left them with, as they were out of school with no little ones and no excuses. I also took them home some chicken sandwiches from McD's on my lunch break. I have come to the conclusion that they are lazy good for nothings and apparently no amount of physical or mental punishment can break them. I give up. I really do. I will just have to ignore their requests as they do mine and go in a different direction with this. Something has got to give. Cici is not as bad as L, but they are both pitiful.
I try to instill pride in the home, cleanliness = good health, the whole kit and caboodle, but they let it go in one ear and out the other and I'm so sick of it.
Anyway, I went to Blockbuster and got the Angels and Demons movie along with a free rental of Davinci Code and another freebie called Let the Right One In. It's a french vampire movie that is supposed to be really good. It's subtitled but that doesn't bother me. I fell asleep on Angels and Demons and I'm glad I didn't buy it. It was kind of boring/slow. I think I remember liking Davinci Code much better. Maybe I will try again tomorrow to watch it. I didn't make it to the other movies. I just ended up getting up off the couch and going to bed.

Got up at 8 AM today. Did some chores. Did my hair, washed and crimped with waving iron. Looks nice. I liked it. Got all the kiddos dressed for Thanksgiving. We all went and picked up my Mom. Her boyfriend ended up not coming. He was sick, nauseated from his Chemo meds. I hope he is feeling better soon and that it works to cure him. They have changed up the neighborhoods where hubby's bro and sis-in-law live. I got a bit turned around. I had timed it to show up right at 1, which was scheduled dinner time. We ended up showing up at 1:15. Not too bad. Luckily, sis-in-law's sister was late too so it wasn't just me. Her kids were there and Bubba found a little running buddy. So nice cause he's always around girls.
Dinner was really good. Mac-n-cheese, dressing, cranberry sauce, turkey, ham, green beans, greens, sweet potatoes, potato salad... Yum! Bro asked his wife if she used mayonnaise to make the potato salad and she said yes... He said MUSTARD! And my Mom was like thank goodness A wasn't here to talk potato salad with them! LOL. He bought her a really nice Sony camcorder that records in HD and does still photos and all. Hubby's bro was slightly jealous. He read the instructions and showed Mom a bunch of stuff about how to work it. The pics that I am sending to you (hubby) are taken from my Mom's camera... I still have some more that I will send in a later package for you. We stopped at CVS on the way home, it was open!?! and just developed the few I thought you'd like to see of the family.
Mom kinda drove me nuts with the camera but other than that, she seemed to be on her best behavior. The Cowboys beat Oakland. It was an ok game. They both actually played kinda sorry but the better sorry team won. I am not a huge Cowboys fan, but they are my home team so I rooted for them. We left after the game was over. So we got home at about 7:30-8:00-ish. It was really nice seeing my Mother-in-Law. She is a riot. We laughed about her cooking skills or lack there of... I want to see her again this weekend before she leaves. We'll figure that out.
Highlight of today... got to talk to hubby on Skype. I was a dodo and left my laptop at home but bro set up skype on his PC and hubby got to say hi to everyone. I miss my baby so much. (love you baby!)
Once I got home, I did an assessment of Christmas gifts... I need to get Pinky at least one more thing. I wish I could find another one of those blocks in the wagon... Oh well, I am sure I will find something over the weekend. I have a ton of stuff to do this weekend, even though I am off work. Oh well. Ce la Vie for this little Seabee wife.
Oh, did I mention the Navy Wife hat I found. It's perfect. A navy blue ball cap with Navy Wife embroidered in Pink and the Navy seal in the center and again pink smaller letters "Navy Wife" on the brim. Found it at the local hardware store if you can believe that when I went to get the light bulbs to replace in the ceiling fan in the living room. And I blew thousands of leaves off the back drive the other day and now I am dreading raking them. Maybe the gods will smile down on me and actually allow Ellie and Cici to help without any complaints... Man I hope I get to go to the movies this weekend. I want to see New Moon so bad. I am jealous! Hubby got to see 2012 and I haven't seen it yet! :) You finally beat me to one, baby!
Well, it's almost midnight. I am going to get up to go work out on base in the AM. Trying to keep my promises where I can. Everyone else is asleep and the house is quiet. Let's see what happens now...

Tuesday, Bad News Day...

Well, to start at the beginning...
Got everyone off on time. Lovely when that happens. I hate to be in a rush. Cici and I came back home and I did a few chores. Took her to the dentist for her braces @ 9:30. same song and dance. She hasn't been brushing well enough. She had 3 broken brackets. They said next time I will be charged 25.00 per bracket to fix them. UGH! They had to remind her to not eat chewy, crunchy or sticky things. Which I don't know of her eating (maybe Halloween candy recently). Her gums were bleeding when they were finished with her. she goes back for her cleaning on 12-18-09 and I just know they are gonna make me pay for that stupid deep scale cleaning. I am going to have to add to my list of crap to do each day, getting onto Cici about making sure she is brushing her teeth WELL enough to avoid gum disease.
Speaking of brushing... I am fighting with Bruiser each day about brushing her teeth. She smears the toothpaste on her fingers or clothes or the counter. She throws the toothbrush. I just can't get her to brush! Princess for the most part will brush but she has her days as well. And Pinky and Bubba... forget it. they snatch the toothbrush and chew on it but won't let you brush for anything! I just get tired of the fight and give up usually.
After the dentist, dropped Cici off at school. Went to pay my first installment on my seat belt ticket. I have 180.00 to go over 4 months. UGH! Hate that town that gave me the ticket! Then went to Best Buy and got the Aliens in the Attic movie for the kids for Xmas. Got soundtrack to New Moon (the sequel to Twilight) and the Black Eyed Peas CD. I am not opening the New Moon one til after I see the movie. I went out right after Twilight and bought the soundtrack last time. I loved the music from the movie. Lets hope this one is the same. There were some other CDs I wanted. But I was afraid I'd only like one song or two. Plus I am watching my budget, so I will wait on those.
Got to work by 12:35. Got a pleasant surprise. Chris, the guy who sits next to me and strangely enough has been on my team or seated next to me for the last few years no matter what, had his 10 year anniversary luncheon today. He invited me, Don B and the manager Stan went with us. We went to Salt Grass and I had the steak and shrimp with a Caesar salad and sweet tea. Yummy! So I was given another 1.5 hours off the phone. What a short day! I sold only one item during the time I was there. And it's not due til 12-16 so it won't be on the end of month sales report. Oh well.
Chris was kinda agonizing about his wife. They have been married 12 years and she has some kind of degenerative bone disorder and has had 3 back surgeries. She is scheduled for another one in a week or so. So for Thanksgiving, they are driving to Corpus Christi (that's where he was surplused from a few years back) so that her mom can take care of her after she has the new surgery down there. To completely fix her back they would have to do some kind of surgery to unfuse the previous bones they fixed and it would require they break her back. But she is at 93% risk of paralysis if they do that so she is trying something else. She totally seems to run their household. He ok's everything with her from his meals to what they watch on tv to purchases. That's good. Nice communication... but it seems from the outside looking in, he's always saying "I can't/couldn't do that because Shawna..." She seems like a nice person. She usually sends me a Christmas card signed by them both though I have never met her. But maybe she is trying to control what she can in life since there is so much (her health) that she can't control... I don't know. That's my Dr. Phil moment for today.
Came home from work and cleaned the twins room. Swept under the beds and mopped and organized the toys. then went and picked them up from daycare. I realized I'd forgotten to take something out and refused to buy fast food again so we had left over chicken (the orange marmalade one) with mac-n-cheese and some green beans. There was just enough left for the kids. I was still full from salt grass so none for me.
The twins are growing up and getting these little personalities. Man, I love them. They amaze me every day. Bruiser told me to help her write her "baby c's" the other night. Princess was singing the Beyonce "single ladies/put a ring on it" song and her version goes "all the chicken ladies, all the chicken ladies". I about busted a gut laughing at her singing that. They truly say the darnedest things. Cici and Elliebear, hmmm. Don't know what to say about them. Their Dad called tonight. He is wanting them for the Christmas break. I told him ok. can't keep them from each other. But dreading handling everything on my own for @ least a week. They are butt munches sometimes, but they can be helpful. So hubby, we haven't quite devised a plan but it's looking like they will go down on Saturday, probably after the FRG Christmas party, and will come back the weekend before New Years. We shall see.
Now, the bad news. We got an email from our ombudsman advising us that there had been IDF and I got my little safe zone bubble burst. I had put myself in the altered state of reality... Hubby is gone to work. All is well. We are communicating, other wives are communicating, I am getting gifts and flowers and mail. He is getting the same. Other wives too. What is this crap about them not being safe hitting me over the head. I am so glad my husband is safe and I definitely send my thoughts and prayers to those affected, whoever they may be. (we have no names) I have not heard from my hubby today, email or otherwise. I want my hubby home. I really do. In one piece, just as I sent him over there. But for now, I will hold on to one piece that was left here at home... his heart. I've got it protected, baby! You just worry about the rest of you! I love you!

We worked up to Monday and it wasn't so bad...

I know I haven't blogged in a while. I have been so super busy.

The only thing I remember about Thursday was that I still had the problem with my neck and I was so tired that I feel asleep on Private Practice which comes on at 9 PM. I was pooped. I don't remember exactly what happened but I know work really depressed me. The calls were all just from sad, miserable, rude people.
And when I got home and got ready to cook dinner, I looked in the cabinet and my canned goods were gone! My first thought went to Elliebear. I remembered seeing the sign at the school about a canned food drive. I knew the little ones hadn't been playing with them and if so, they would at least be visible.
I yelled her name and said where are the canned goods?!? And she came out of the bedroom with about 10 cans that she had in her backpack ready to be donated the next day. She told me she had taken 24 cans to school already over a 2 day period.
I was so upset. I really wouldn't have minded her donating, but emptying out the cabinet is not what I would've had in mind. And on top of that, she didn't ask me. She STOLE from me and her family. I emailed the teachers to tell them what she had done. Her class didn't win the ice-cream sundae party prize anyway, but I still haven't come up with a totally suitable punishment.

On Friday, I needed a day off. I decided to take a vacation day. I took everyone to school. Then I came home, did some cleaning, went and got Bubba a new crib, got a pedicure and my eyebrows waxed and did some Christmas shopping. I believe I am just about ready. Princess has a razor riprider 360. It's a trike with caster wheels so it wiggles all over the place while you ride. Bruiser has a regular Red Flyer traditional tricycle. They should have fun with those together. I got Elliebear a full size keyboard. I hope I don't regret that one. Cici already has her Nintendo DSi waiting so everyone has a big gift. Except the twins. They have some cool stuff but they won't know the difference so they will be happy I'm sure. I wanted to go to the movies, but I ran out of time. Maybe next time... I can't remember anything else significant happening. I think it was a nice day.

On Saturday, my neck was really bothering me... still... did I mention the doctor told me to get a massage a couple of times a week to see if that helped and I just laughed at him? I went to the base and worked out. Nobody from my little group showed up but me, but that's who I was there for so... My neck felt better for almost a half hour afterwards. It was amazing. But the pain came back. I got on the elliptical for 25 minutes and did 5 minutes of stretching and 25 minutes of weights.
Anyway, we went to Sam's and got some groceries. Honestly, that's about all I remember. Hubby did get his birthday box. It had peanut butter, sardines and crackers, cookies, paydays, peanut butter chews and snicker bars, mustard (for the sardines), a memory card for his camera, sports illustrateds, a card from me... That box was packed! He was so happy to receive it. And I was happy to oblige.
Now I did speak to my wonderful hubby a few times during these days. He has been able to Skype (phone calls with one way video- he can see me but I can't see him) me a few times. I really hope he gets his laptop. Before Thanksgiving will be preferable. If not, ASAP.

On Sunday, I went back to the base in the morning. AW showed up but TR went on a cruise with her kids and her husband's ex wife. That was weird... I was trying to imagine that scenario and just couldn't do it. She said he told her not to become friends with the ex. I LOL'd about that one. I just worked out on elliptical for 25 minutes and did my 5 minute stretch. I cleaned up a bit in the garage. Finally got the Halloween decorations put back in the attic. Got down the Christmas ones. Put away summer clothes. Picked up all the pieces of the carpet padding that PacPac has chewed up while he's out there during the day. Sprayed the carpet with pet deodorizer. Hopefully, I will have a chance to really clean it this weekend. Did more chores in the house. God, I am so sick of laundry! But it's gotta be done.
I was preparing for my Mother in law's visit. I don't know if she'll come by here. I am sure she knows I am so busy during the week she may just wait til I come over to my brother and sister-in-laws house on Thanksgiving to see me and the kids. I cut out her pictures of the kids. They are ready to go except I need to make copies of L's and C's pics so I can give her bigger ones. I realized I am missing my wallet sized pics of the kids.
I put together Bubba's new crib as well. It is amazing. Dark brown mahogany colored wood with the sleigh bed rails. I love it so much. It turns into a toddler bed, then a daybed and then you can use the head and foot boards to make a full size bed later. I told hubby and he says we should get Pinky one just like it. I really want to but I have so much going on! Hubby called me while I was on my way to the gym and we got to talk for about 20 minutes or so. It was so nice to hear his voice and the connection was actually clear! I was truly happy. Took the kids to McD's for lunch. Let them play in the kids zone area. when I got home, I baked (skinless) chicken thighs coated in orange marmalade. It was good. Better than I was expecting as I didn't have a recipe, just an idea. watched Dexter. It was a really good episode. only 3 left til end of the season. I can't wait for honey to come home. Wish we had a DVR, I would be recording these for him. Now we will have to rent the season when it comes out so he can catch up.

On Monday, work. The day wasn't so bad. I had a decent revenue day. I went to Walmart after work with the kids. Got some groceries. By the time we were done, it was 8 PM so we went to Wendy's and got dinner. No baths for kids. Weather getting cold. They are getting runny noses and they didn't make a huge mess tonight. Elliebear gave me a me a massage and my neck/shoulder area felt better. She rubs really hard. Bubba is enjoying his new bed. I think he is just glad to be out of the bed with his sister. I was trying to convince hubby before he left that we should stop buying paper plates. that it was better for the environment and that we could save some money. Screw that! I am so tired of dishes. I bought a 600 count package of paper plates from Sam's.
Elliebear and Princess put up the fake tree. No ornaments yet. We will do that on Thanksgiving or this weekend. But it's up. I am not very excited about Christmas. Trying, but it's not hitting me yet. Tomorrow is a short day. I am excited about that. I have to take Cici to the orthodontist at 9:30 AM. Work at 12:45 and I get off at 4:45. Yay!
I love you, my wonderful husband. I am missing you and thinking of you always. Be safe and know that I am giving thanks for having you in my life... Just wish you were physically in my life... :)

11/17/09-11/18/09

No catchy titles... just trying to catch up!
I missed yesterday. I held on through work... UGH. Oh my goodness. I hate my job. But I am glad to be employed.
I didn't feel like cooking. We had Domino's pizza. I went to the base and bought a copy of Star Trek. Watched it with the girls. I love that movie. I also got a copy of Mario Bros for Wii. Cant wait to play it. I put it away for Xmas, but I want it for me. :) Got to talk to hubby briefly on the phone. We have been emailing, but I love to hear his voice.
I am really debating on getting an Xbox or PS3. It looks so awesome. I think I could get into that. Hubby says he will play with me when he gets back. Yeah! Just gotta catch some good deals on them with Black Friday.
Did some laundry. Nothing major. Just a day. I woke up with this crick in my neck though. It hurts so bad. Cant turn without moving my whole torso. Hmmm. Don't know what that is about. stress or lack of sleep or sleeping wrong probably.
Today was cool. I was busy as ever. I went to work 8:15-12:15. Then went to pick up all the kids from school and went to see pediatrician. All of them got checked out. Runny noses and coughs were just that. No flu or serious infections or anything. So Princess, C and L got H1N1 vaccine and seasonal flu shots. Bubba, Pinky and Sheridan all got H1N1, they had seasonal a couple months ago. Bruiser also got her newest dose of Hepatitis vaccine. Dropped little ones back off at school. Went to post office and mailed hubby's box with laptop in it. Then went to my orthopedic doctor for my last checkup on my wrist. He told me call him if it hurts or if my left one needs another cortizone shot.
I miss watching stand up comedy with my hubby. I am watching Joe Rogen's show. It's pretty funny. Daddy would enjoy it. Maybe I spelled his name wrong. We got home today from the doc and there was a huge white dog in the back yard. he was kinda scared though. We were able to just chase him out. Creepy though. Again, no cooking. My neck is killing me. Well, its more my shoulder. I don't want to do anything. So I got the kids McDonald's and then I got myself an A1 Thick and Hearty burger from Whataburger. I kept hearing commercials about how they aren't going to make it anymore. So, it sucked me in... I wasn't impressed. Kinda wished I would've gotten the regular whataburger. Yum.
Got some mail from the husband today! Yeah! I love mail from him!
Paid lots of bills tonight as well. Fun Fun Fun.
Well, guess I will try to go to sleep. I am ready for Thanksgiving to be over. Ready for Christmas to come and go. Ready for my hubby to be back in our physical lives as well as our spiritual one. I love you, hubby. that will never change.

11/12/2009-11/16/2009

I am late again! I missed blogging on Thursday and Friday. I ended up taking a vacation day from work on Thursday. I had so much to do. I spent the morning cleaning my room. I got to speak to my hubby on Skype. But on a pc without a web cam. So I still couldn't see his face!

Man, it's actually Monday, November 16 and I had started this and saved it as a draft, so it shows to be a Saturday 11/14/09 post. Let's see if I can remember everything...

Ok. On Thursday...
I left after talking to hubby on Skype. Cici called from school. She was sick. Really bad cough. Dropped her off at home and dosed her up. Went to the base, debated for an hour on which laptop to replace the missing one with (because they didn't have the same one anymore) and finally decided on an HP (that wasn't there before) that I kinda liked better than the Toshiba... I got new accessories and also found a pair of Heeleys on sale for 25.00 for Elliebear that I am putting away for Christmas. I also found a pair of Disney princess shoes that light up for Sasha for Christmas. After that, I went to check the mail... You'll never guess what was there. The original laptop. I was relieved but so pissed that I wasted my afternoon. I did check out the laptop. It wasn't broken though the box was practically crushed. I also went to Best Buy and got a copy of UP on bluray. They didn't have it on the base. Watched it with the girls that night. It was a sweet movie.

Friday...
It was so hard to go back to work after a vacation day. But I did it. I made it the whole 8 hours. On Friday night, I went to my brothers. It was his birthday. Hung out there with the kids for a while. They were playing with my brother's kids. Came home. Went to bed as far as I can remember. I don't think anything extra special happened on Friday. I just made it through another day. Oh, the free upgrade to Windows 7 disc came in the mail for hubby's laptop. How's that for timing? And, Cici stayed home from school again. She said she was just weak and wheezy. She didn't seem to be her normal self so I believed she didn't feel well. No fever.

Saturday...
OMG. The crazy marathon day. I woke up later than anticipated. I was up for about an hour in the middle of the night talking to the hubby on Skype (still no web cam) and I had been up coughing alot, but I went to the gym anyway and got 30 minutes in. That was after I dropped Ellie off at brother's house so his wife could braid her hair. Got on elliptical- 1.51 miles, 243 calories, 25 minutes plus a cool down of stretching. Good workout. Went to PX afterwards to return the new laptop and accessories. Got camera case for myself and hubby. He sent me a camera as a gift and had gotten one for himself but it didn't come with a case. The case I got was a nice one, protects against water and sand. It's on it's way soon hubby! Along with new laptop and accessories and photos!
Went to Sam's on way home from base. Got spring mix salad, purple onions and cherry tomatoes. Went home and made 3 giant salads. Realized I'd forgotten the dressing. Went to Kroger and picked up variety of flavors. Got all kids dressed. It was noon by this time and the FRG Thanksgiving potluck started at noon. Went to pick up L, her hair was very pretty. Got to potluck at about 1:30. Really late, but it was nice. Saw some of the SEABEE wives I've been talking to. I was super tired. I'd already committed to going. I was so late it probably wouldn't have mattered. I am going to do this Christmas party thing and then I think I am pulling back a bit. I feel like I am overextending myself with the Boo at the Zoo and Potlucks. I need to be on my own schedule doing stuff. I have too much to do on the weekends that I can't complete during the week to be punctual. However, I do enjoy hanging out with the SEABEE families. I will continue to work out. Selfish or not, that's for ME. It's nice to have workout buddies but I am so overwhelmed right now.
I dropped L off at her friend's house to spend the night on Saturday night at about 6:30. I hate to say it. She didn't deserve it but I needed a break from her. She was getting on my ever loving nerves. Not necessarily that day but just period lately.
I am strong. I can handle whatever is pushed my way. One way or another. It'll get handled.
Sunday...
I didn't go work out. I was so friggin' sleepy. I slept til 8- something. AW did call to check on me. That was nice. I had been up coughing again. I had some energy though. I cleaned out the cars. It was so beautiful and sunny during the day. There was so much junk in them. Kids can be so messy. I went to pick up L at 1:00. Went to the bank and ran some errands. I was literally on my feet all day. I made pork chops and some of those skillet potatoes and some left over salad for dinner. I even ate standing up. Hubby has done that on occasion before and I didn't get it, but now I do. Sorry, honey. Your days must have sucked sometimes to. I hope I was a help to you when I could be. I braided Sasha's hair while Desperate Housewives was on. I did Cici's hair while Dexter was on. My hair still looks like crap but at least my kids look nice.
Now the kicker on Sunday was the upgrade to Windows 7. I started that thing in the afternoon and didn't get finished with it til 2 AM. I had to uninstall this, shut down several times, called tech support for Toshiba because I was unsure about what files I needed to save. It was just frightening to me because I wanted it to be done right so I could send the thing off. I had plenty to do to keep me occupied during the updates and whatnot. So I would just bounce over to it and follow the prompts. For the most part it was just fear of doing it. I had to uninstall the antivirus program first so I put off reinstalling it til Monday evening. I was ready for bed.

Monday...
I was sooooo freakin' sleepy today. Paid hubby's PO Box fee at lunch break. Sent hubby an email saying I wanted this thing called a shake weight. Cheesy thing that's supposed to work out the flabby part of your triceps area... the "wings", as we call them. Got an email confirmation later in the day... He'd ordered it for me. That man spoils me so. MM got her hair colored dark with a new cut. I am trying to get Princess and Bruiser to sleep. It's 11 PM and they won't STFU. Anyway...
I had to call tech support on the Kaspersky antivirus download. Lot's of problems. Found out the 2009 version wasn't compatible with Windows 7 and that's why the problems. The tech told me how to download the newest version. Now the laptop is good to go! Man, that was frustrating, but I am glad I did it instead of hubby going through that. He may never have had the time to complete it.
They fed us at work today. Offered everyone left overs to take home. So I brought home for dinner: turkey, dressing, greens, corn muffins, yams and pea salad. I didn't have to cook! Nice. All my customers today told me their stories about how they lost their jobs, were sick, one lady had just had a double mastectomy. So I was very depressed by the end of my shift. No sales and sad stories. Doesn't make for a good day. And if you look around the house, still looks to me like nothing is done. I need a day or two off to catch up on chores. The laundry is piled up again. I swear I wash clothes almost every day. I skipped today. Just didn't feel like it. After I fed the kids and got them in the bath and let them play for a bit, I just sat down to deal with the laptop.
Cici stayed home again but she seemed to feel better when I got home. I am going to have to make sure she does all her missed work. I can pick up her assignments in the office. Hopefully she can go tomorrow. Worse case scenario, she goes to the doc on Wednesday. May not be able to get her shot but she can get checked out.
Didn't get to talk to hubby today. Got a couple of emails but I would love to hear his voice. I miss that man so much. The highlight of the last 5 days would have to be my Skype calls with hubby. The sound was crystal clear as opposed to the jacked up telephone lines. I just can't wait for him to have the web cam so I can see his face. I love you, hubby! you are amazing! I was thinking to myself earlier... you know that saying, "tomorrow's a brand new day!" That's what I kept thinking. Just to get myself through. But number 4 in my head kept saying, "Yeah, well, same shit, different day." So of course, I was bummed either way. My new saying during this deployment will have to be, "Tomorrow's a brand new day full of the same shit"... I guess.
Where is my joy? It has been stolen and taken away to the middle east! Take care, hubby. Stay tuned... Same bat time, same bat channel.

Happy Veteran's Day!

It's Veteran's Day. I sent a shout out to hubby via email. Didn't get to talk to him all day yesterday. Hope he's ok.
After that awful night last night, I totally needed a pick me up today. I got flowers from my husband! I am thinking about him and celebrating him, and he is sending me flowers! My mood has shifted! I still feel kinda blue but much better. Don, who sits 2 desks over from me, told me this morning, "you look tired. your eyes are all puffy." I am thinking "thanks! Geez!" but I tell him, I was crying last night. And that started a new fountain of tears.
I was able to pull it together before getting on the phone. This morning went smoothly as far as getting everyone off on time. I didn't have to be here til 8:15. I was totally considering taking a half a day vacation. We are almost half through this month. I have 7 days left plus my full week. I am being really stingy with my vacation days but I am so scared that the kids will get sick or something and I will need the days later. I am being overly paranoid, but that's what At&t does to you. I ended up taking the last 2 hours of the day off.
Our contract got ratified. Glad that's over. Still just hoping I can be in a 4 yr nursing program before I turn 40. I will have put in (if I make it) 15 years at that point. I have a plan. A goal, rather... I'm gonna be an old nurse. One of those mean nurse Ratchet ones probably by the time I graduate. :) Anyway, regarding the contract. We should get some kind of retro pay through April of this year for the raise we would have gotten. That part is good news. The rest of it, yuck! Oh and Mary came to visit me at work today. that explains my emotional roller coaster and the bloating...
When I left work, went to Thrift Town. Got 2 picture frames for 3.00 and change. Then I went home for a second. Ellie bear was just getting home. Talked to her for a bit then went to the movies. Used my free ticket (finally got the real one from work) and saw the Box. what a waste of time. It was awful. And I don't say that about too many movies. It was set in 1976. But that wasn't what was bad about it. The plot was just incomplete and ridiculous. UGH. I was kinda mad I chose it. But it was all that was showing that I could make it to the daycare afterwards in time.
Got kids from daycare. Didn't feel like cooking, though I'd taken out hamburger meat. So I stopped and got chicken and fries. I still cooked the hamburger meat. I guess I will add it to spaghetti tomorrow or something. So I am halfway there for tomorrow. :)
Got everyone in bed. Did about 4 loads of laundry this evening. Haven't folded any of it yet. It's sitting on the couch. I have been cleaning up in the bedroom as well. Watched the Crow, Elvira, and Queen of the Damned. I haven't watched comedy central in forever! Man, I miss stand up comedy with the husband!
I didn't get to talk to the husband all day today either. Sad, sad, sad! but all in all, today wasn't so bad. I love my flowers! And I love my husband! Hope your Vet's Day was wonderful!

Today I was deep in the domestic suck!

It started off ok. Left house at about 7:15 AM. That's the earliest I have left in a while. Thought I was on the right track for having a good day. Our revenue goal is 250.00 per day. I ended with about 221.00. Stan still found it necessary to point out that I had no wireless, yet again. My body is sore. From the weights I'm sure. That's to be expected but today was not a good day for it. I was able to use my lunch to sit down at the PC at work and log into our bills to see what we owed. That was a fun filled break from work. But no way I can find time to do it at home. My brother calls me to ask to borrow money til Friday. Like I freaking can support his family and mine. I loaned him some money. He has helped me watch the kids and with the tire, but geez! And I left a voice mail for the guy with that subsidy place for childcare and still haven't gotten a response to it or to my previous emails.
I was writing a letter to my hubby at work most of the day. It was kind of slow. Hopefully I will finish it in the next couple of days to go into his care package. They cancelled our mandatory OT, so I decided to catch the 4:30 showing of Saw VI. It was the only thing that let out in time to get the kids from daycare.
I was so prepared for this day. I put all the ingredients for a roast in crock pot last night. Put in fridge and started it this morning. All I had to do was make the rice and cornbread. That was nice. Everyone woke up in a good mood except for Bubba. I guess he wasn't feeling all that well or maybe he was just still sleepy cause he fell asleep in the car on the way to the daycare. I mean, it was going so smoothly! I was literally happy most of the day. A bit annoyed by Stan's comment, but other than that, a good day.... To a point.
Then, literally as I am leaving the theatre, L calls to tell me she has some news I am not going to like... I'm like, WHAT IS IT. She says she is not going to tell me til I get home. That pissed me off. So I am steaming the whole way to get the kids. I am yelling at Sheridan to put on her blankety blank seat belt. Don't need another ticket for that crap, nor any accidents without it, I have to pull over 2x to get her buckled back in cause she wants to take it off. When I get home, the news is that one of the little kids has cut the wires that connect the drums on the Guitar Hero game.
I went through the roof. First of all, I looked around. The house was a total mess. It wasn't super clean, but it looked like freaking Dorothy was on her way to Oz (a tornado) and I was the wicked witch. Oh I wished somebody would've dropped a house on me. I went ballistic. First of all, why are you trying to play a game with this mess everywhere! Secondly, I told Cici to put the drumset back in the garage yesterday after they played with it. Thirdly, why did L call me and scare the crap out of me! I yelled and screamed and what was so bad was I really felt like I was a bit out of control. I went into the garage, closed the door and punched the SAMS club megasize multipack of paper towels until I felt better. Yes, I did that. In private.
I don't want to scare you. I wasn't Andrea Yates, "it's time for a bath, kids" out of control. I just felt totally defeated. I don't know where it came from. Maybe I had been stuffing this down for the past couple of weeks. I would NEVER hurt our kids, hubby. So, I am handling it. It was purely an emotional mini breakdown. I thought I needed a break. I kind of felt myself going into that stage where I know I am about to be BLUE, that's why I thought the quiet, dark of the movie theatre would just give me that bit of time I needed for me. But no such luck after all.
I felt so tired all of a sudden. Now I do feel blue. I need something. I need my husband to help me keep my ducks in a row. After I punched the paper towels about 5 or 6 times, I just sat there and cried. I mean I bawled. I was sooo pissed off about that drum set. You know that was MY instrument. As if I'd ever have time to play! But now I have to fix them or replace them. Another freaking thing to do. More time, more gas, more money. UGH.
The twins were pretty calm this evening. Thank goodness! Bruiser and Princess were clingy and fighting with each other all evening. We ate dinner. I did give everyone a bath. Twins went to bed no problems and I am still as we speak trying to get Bruiser and Princess to shut up and go to sleep. Bruiser is trying to climb on my lap and I am making her sit on the floor next to me since she keeps getting out of the bed and she is just sitting there crying. I am doing a really good job of tuning her out right now.
No tv tonight in the whole house. Cici and Elliebear are grounded from anything electronic until further notice. Then I discovered my underwear drawer had been rifled through. Elliebear brought me some "personal items" and said they were on my floor. The Christmas gifts that were neatly tucked away in their bags underneath my unmentionables were opened and shifted all around. L of course blamed Bruiser and Princess. I was pretty ticked about that.
Tonight nothing but this blog is getting done. I swept the kitchen floor and rinsed the dishes. I did do one load of clothes. But that's it. Brother came over to pick up his money. And I am going to bed as soon as I am done with this. My body is tired. My head hurts. My eyes hurt. My mind is in a million different corners of the universe. And my heart is in the middle east. I quite literally feel like I am broken into different pieces or incomplete somehow.
I ran out of my medication. It may be time to reup on it. I am experiencing a chemical imbalance or something. I don't like it. I am recognizing it. When I go for my annual exam, Dec 4, I will talk to my doc and get a new script.
I talked to hubby's brother tonight too. One of the kids accidentally dialed his number on my cell phone. So while he had me there, he asked me if we were coming to Thanksgiving dinner. What a day to ask. I told him yes. He asked me if I was bringing my mother. Last person I would think of inviting. I'm sure she has plans with her manfriend or my side of the family. And this feeling came over me as though I would be imposing by showing up. I just don't feel in the mood to give thanks or celebrate or visit or anything right now. I am supposed to go to that FRG family potluck this weekend. I have committed but... Today, I would be a liar if I said I was happy about going.
Bruiser has finally given up. She and Princess are both asleep. It took only 30 minutes of letting her cry. Oh, my cousin with the shop, and his wife, had their baby girl at about 3 AM on Sunday. I am still sick so I didn't go to the hospital to see her. They named her Serenity. Congrats to them, they miscarried the last one. Blessings and love to them. My brother said his oldest son's football team made it to the playoffs. So he invited me to the game. Sorry. Already committed to FRG potluck at same time. And I am not up for sitting outside with the kids.
I am going to have to rake leaves sometime. I want to take a vacation day so bad and just totally spoil myself. Get my hair done. Have a pedicure. I look like crap. I feel like crap. I am just craptastic. At least I am in love and I know I am loved in return. That helps.
I am walking on the dark side of the sun.
Trying to see the light that's right in front of me.
Needing to step lively to avoid getting burned.
Wanting to feel the heat that surrounds me.
It's so cold and lonely in the shadow and fog.
As I dream of seeing the bright side of things.
And on that note, I'm outta here! Until tomorrow... Much love to you hubby!